Homeschooling and the College Question (Part 2)

• “Describe the last excellent conversation you had. What triggered it?”

• “What is the most important lesson you will take from high school to your next endeavor?”

• “Who do you want to be your mentor for the next two to seven years?”

• “Where can you find people whose message persuades you and whose personal ethic inspires you?”

• “How can you acquire skills that will equip you for the rest of your life?”

Imagine a college application or guidance counselor session that opened with this nontraditional set of questions.

When I applied to college, I thought of it as a necessary next step—the thing you did after high school. I had been homeschooled all the way through twelfth grade, so I felt some level of anxiety about whether or not I would be “good enough” to make it into top schools. I sweated over test scores, transcripts, and the now-amusing letter my dad had to write to explain my “1/1” class rank.

When I assessed the brightly colored college brochures piled on my desk, the U.S. News & World Report ranking was far more important to me than the names of faculty who taught there. I had no idea who they were or even that it might matter. If the type of questions I have outlined appeared at all, it was on the essay at the end of the application. If your experience is anything like mine was, your student’s main concern in answering those essay questions might be, “What do they want to hear?” followed closely by, “What can I say to make the committee admit me?”

When I applied to graduate school several years later, my application process was considerably different. Four years of college and some time off to work had shown me how powerful a simple, “Well done!” and a handshake from a professor and mentor could be. I enjoyed the classes; I remembered the professors who met with me during office hours and counseled me through the ups and downs of my transition to adult life.

As a result, when I considered graduate programs, I took time to contemplate the kind of people I wanted to have as mentors and the kind of coursework that would equip me for my next steps in life. I read articles; talked to my favorite professors about the people they admired; and browsed the work of current graduate students in each English department. Campus visits were a chance to imagine myself as part of that community, not strictly a performance designed to impress.

Part of my story is about a young woman maturing naturally toward adulthood and making more conscientious decisions as a result. You cannot always rush that process nor should you try, but surely there are ways to integrate this approach to college applications as well.

If you have children approaching the end of high school, consider creating a chart like the one below. List the name of authors whose books your family admires. Listen to radio interviews with faculty members or read publications they have written. Note that this chart includes gap year programs, internships, and summer camps as well as colleges. Today’s graduates have more options than ever, as society reconsiders the value of a college degree.

Above all, do not miss the opportunity to have honest and heartfelt conversations with your teenagers about your desires for them and their dreams for themselves. Ask questions. Ask a lot of questions. And then enjoy the adventure on which those questions lead you.